MEANWHILE AT NEVERLAND, MICHAEL JACKSON ASKS HIMSELF "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?"

Gotta love those crazy Northwest flight attendants.

TOP TEN WAYS TEXAS IS COMMEMORATING ITS 300TH EXECUTION

10. (Sorry. I screwed up and lost this audio file. Dammit.) Giant cake in the shape of "Old Sparky".

9. audblog audio post

8. audblog audio post

7. audblog audio post

6. audblog audio post

5. audblog audio post

4. audblog audio post

3. audblog audio post

2. audblog audio post

And the Number 1 way Texas is commemorating its 300th execution is:

1. audblog audio post

Well, that's it for audblog. If I ever get the urge to blow another nine bucks, please stop me.

ONLY TEN MORE TO GO!!!

Sorry about that last one. This one is only slightly better, but there is something there as opposed to me taunting you. There are a few seconds of silence at the beginning, so don't stop it until the end.

audblog audio post

You don't know hard it was to synch up the synthesized voice with the beep on the audblog recorder. I must have spent 10 minutes trying to get it even that good.

THE GREATEST AUDIO BLOG POST EVER

audblog audio post

Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back. Only 11 left!