MERCAPTAN OF INDUSTRY
My wife, seemingly along with the rest of a tired, weary nation, has finally succumbed to the Atkins Diet. Since I approach most things in my marriage much like the French approached World War II (quick surrender followed by a plucky underground resistance), I am also, for the time being, on the Atkins Diet. This particular regime entails the consumption of large amounts of protein and limited amounts of carbohydrates. To that end, we have been eating a significant amount of leafy and/or stalky green vegetables, such as asparagus. Asparagus has a unique property in that it can cause one's, how shall we say, urine, to, how shall we say,
stink. Being an industrious sort, and armed with a high-speed link to a world of information, I discovered that the cause of the stinky pee is a chemical compound known as methyl mercaptan. This is the same compound that is mixed with natural gas so that if the gas starts to leak, a foul odor will be detected. Evidently, methyl mercaptan is a by-product of the digestion process, and accumulates in the bladder within minutes of eating the offending sprouts.
Furthermore, it seems that in a study done by someone whose donors have far more money than sense, only about 40% of all adults tested are capable of producing methyl mercaptan in their urine after eating asparagus, and an even smaller percentage can smell the methyl mercaptan they produce. Apparently, this "ability" is genetically determined.
Well, as you may have already gleaned, I'm a producer
and a smeller. This is certainly one of the prouder moments of my life. Not only do I now have one recognizable talent, but two!
